Five Years On: The Hidden Cost to Women In Leadership

Five years since we hastily built desks in spare bedrooms.

Five years since Microsoft Teams went from being an occasional annoyance to our
daily reality.

The past five years have shaken up our working life in ways that none of us could have predicted. And five years on, the hidden cost to women in leadership is becoming harder to ignore.

Flexible working, once a mythical state for the lucky few, became an overnight necessity. The emergency response to the pandemic meant that businesses around the world had to switch – fast! A resounding chorus of frustration echoed as we all cursed Microsoft Teams, laughed at colleagues frozen mid-sentence, and quietly celebrated the death of the daily commute.

But shouldn’t we have moved beyond crisis mode by now?

We are well beyond that emergency phase. Weeks turned into months, and months turned into years. Yet many of us, particularly in the public sector, remain trapped in a strange limbo where temporary measures have calcified into permanent expectations, often without the supporting infrastructure of truly sustainable flexible work. Flexibility has morphed into something more demanding, something relentless: the ‘always-on’ culture.

We geared up, but isn’t it about time we geared back down?

The ‘Always On’ Culture.

The remote worker’s revolution felt refreshing at first.

The shift to WFH and remote work brought undeniable benefits to many of us. Putting on a professional top while secretly enjoying pyjama bottoms and fluffy slippers. We could multitask our chores, enjoy a quiet cup of tea whenever the moment struck, put the washing out in between meetings and flex around our families. (Who else sent emails and did some work once the little darlings were in bed?)

All were a welcome change from workplace formalities.

And these changes have come at a price.

This seismic cultural shift to being constantly available has fundamentally altered how services are delivered and teams are managed. It has eroded crucial boundaries between work and our personal lives. And behind the new stories and media, the hidden cost to women in leadership is growing clearer by the day.
The expectation of constant availability has created an unsustainable pattern for
many of us:

• Responding to Teams messages during family dinners.
• Answering WhatsApp queries on weekends.
• Quickly sorting something out during annual leave because your laptop is right there at home, and you don’t want to have to wait until you’re back at work next week. Otherwise, that task sits in the corner of your mind, festering.
• Just hopping on a call on your day off.
• Attending meetings while sick because you’re too worried about being ‘sick’ when you’re at home, when previously you’d have called in sick and stayed in bed to genuinely rest.

Many midlife women leaders feel trapped in a perpetual ‘emergency response mode,’ where the adrenaline never stops flowing and recovery time doesn’t exist.

And they’re burning themselves out trying to keep up.

To give you some kind of idea, 2024 stats reveal that long-term sickness absence accounts for almost 47% of staff absence in the Civil Service. Public sector workers are over a third more likely to report poor mental health and anxiety issues due to workload and staff shortages.

The Silent Cost of Leadership.

The public sector has undergone fundamental changes in the last five years. Leaders still have to manage teams throughout all these transformations and the perpetual sense of uncertainty that the past five years have brought. As a leader, you might not agree with how things are being managed, yet you’re still expected to lead from the front. You’re still wanting to inspire your team to keep on keeping on.

For women in leadership positions, these organisational upheavals often coincide with significant personal transitions. Perhaps you’re navigating menopause, caring for elderly parents, supporting children into adulthood, or simply reassessing what matters most to you, and whether whatever you are doing now is the whatever you want to keep doing for the next 10, 15, 20 years.

And in the midst of all this, the hidden cost to women in leadership becomes even more apparent. You’re being asked to keep leading, inspiring and reassuring your team during one of the most complex and uncertain times in public service history, even when you privately doubt the decisions being made from above.

No wonder you’re knackered.

The Perfect Storm: When Organisational Changes Meets Midlife
Transitions.

Policy shifts. Budget cuts. Chronic staffing crises.

And these are just some of the organisational changes you’re having to deal with. We’ve barely covered the personal challenges that life can throw at us to knock us down. This convergence creates a ‘perfect storm’ of stressors that can shake even the most experienced leader’s confidence.

After years of building expertise and authority, many midlife women find themselves questioning their ability to lead effectively in such challenging times. It can leave you wondering if you’re truly cut out for leadership anymore.

This upheaval extends beyond individual well-being. It represents a significant organisational risk. When experienced leaders lose confidence:

• Decision-making slows
• Innovation and creativity stalls
• Teams sense the uncertainty

A ripple effect travels throughout the organisation. Yet you’re expected to smile and grit your teeth through it all. To reassure your team. To deliver results. All while managing your own personal life, health, and sense of self in a world that won’t stop shifting.

It’s beyond exhausting. It’s unsustainable.

Hidden Cost: The Human & Business Price Tag

The consequences of this new reality are becoming increasingly evident:

• Rising sickness and absence rates across the public sector
• Decreased productivity despite longer working hours
• Waning confidence in leadership abilities
• Higher turnover of experienced staff
• Decision-making compromised by chronic stress
• A dangerous blurring of professional and personal identities
• Escalating burnout rates

Leading When You’re Running on Empty

Midlife women leaders in particular carry an extra emotional load.

They’re dedicated and capable, but resilience has limits. They’ve already weathered years of turbulence, policy changes, restructuring, staff shortages, and cultural changes. But many are now feeling trapped in a cycle of exhaustion, overwhelm and frustration. They are trying to maintain a positive front whilst privately wondering how much longer they can keep this up. They’re doubting themselves as leaders. Working while unwell out of fear of being seen as not coping. They’re still operating in emergency response mode long after the ‘crisis’ has passed.

Many are quietly burning out whilst carrying the emotional load of both the job and the people they manage.

The Hidden Cost: You, Your Team, Your Organisation

This isn’t just about well-being, though that absolutely does matter. It’s also about the domino effect that begins with you and expands outwards, touching everything in its path: your life, your family, your long-term health, your team, and their family life…

When you’re living under constant stress and firefighting daily, your sleep is disrupted. You’re running on caffeine and adrenaline. Stress affects everything from digestion to immunity.

Your self-confidence takes a hit, and you start to question if you’re even doing a good job anymore. Exhausted leaders lead exhausted teams.

When leadership cracks, organisations feel it. No one wants a grumpy, snappy boss, especially when the pressure never seems to ease. Innovative ideas go unshared for fear of adding to your burden. Your high performers quietly update their CVs, sensing a sinking ship.

Performance plummets. Absenteeism rises with lengthy stress-related leave. Morale is at rock bottom. Your team will do the bare minimum because, right now, that’s all they’ve got the capacity for. Ultimately, this cycle directly impacts organisational outcomes. The human cost quickly translates into a financial cost.

Recruitment and training costs for new staff. Temporary staffing and the decline in service quality suffers.

This is the hidden cost to women in leadership: the personal toll that spills outward, affecting not just your well-being, but influencing team morale, leadership effectiveness, and organisational health.

This brings you to a crossroads: 

Do you walk away from a role you once loved, leaving behind years of experience and impact?

Or do you find a new way to lead? One that protects your well-being, supports your team, and allows you to show up as the leader you truly are, with the right support beside you, and someone in your corner who understands what you’re carrying?

The good news is that you don’t have to figure it out alone.

Lead Well or Leave Well: There’s No Shame in Either Choice.

You don’t have to pretend things are fine when they’re not.

In the quiet moments, perhaps late at night when the house is still, or during your morning commute, the questions surface:

Can I sustain this pace? Do I even want to do this anymore? Is this still the right place for me to make a difference? What would happen if I finally prioritised myself? I’m not sure I even know how to do that anymore.

This means that you need to make an intentional decision: to lead well within this changed world or to leave well with your head held high.

Both paths require courage. Both deserve respect. Both benefit from support.

This is precisely where focused coaching creates clarity. Not to tell you which path to choose, that decision is yours alone, but to ensure whichever direction you take is guided by intention rather than exhaustion.

Working with me, you’ll gain:

• A clear assessment of your current situation without judgment.
• Strategic options for either renewing your leadership approach or planning a dignified exit.
• Practical tools to manage the challenges of whichever path you choose.
• Emotional support during a transition that’s rarely just professional, but deeply personal.
• Confidence that comes from making decisions aligned with your values and wellbeing.

You’ve spent years supporting others through their professional journeys. Now it’s time to invest in your own.

The Way Forward

You’re not the problem. It’s the system that has shifted.

If you recognise yourself here, remember this: your exhaustion isn’t a personal failure, it’s a normal human response to extraordinary circumstances. The system has fundamentally shifted under your feet. The real opportunity lies in making conscious choices about how you want to navigate this altered working landscape rather than being carried along by forces beyond your control. Whether you choose to lead differently or leave strategically, doing so with intention, support, and confidence is what matters.

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Are you a midlife woman leader navigating organisational change while managing personal transitions?

Let’s talk. I offer support designed specifically for you. You can book a FREE no-obligation discovery call HERE. We can chat about how we might work together to rebuild your self-confidence, establish sustainable boundaries in your world, and rediscover your joy in leadership. Whether you’re looking to lead well or leave well, let’s explore together how you can transform your next chapter.